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Overcoming Fear by Embracing Death: Unity Vs. Individuality

19/3/2017

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So far in this series of articles on overcoming fear, we've explored how each fear can be traced to a fear of death and also, how our 'web of identity' affects the way we approach our fear.  Now, let's go deeper still into the caverns of who we are and look at the source pain behind our fear of death. 
Dying - whether a final death or an every day challenge to our sense of self, it confronts our identity causing us to be afraid.  Thus we often cling to certain traits/identities within us when others are challenged, especially our world view and belief system.  It's been shown over and over again that when reminded of our fear of death, we react generously to those who reinforce our beliefs and harshly to those who call our beliefs into question.
What causes us to behave this way?

Unity Vs, Individuality

As I mentioned in the first article, we come into this world without knowing separation, thus there is no specific individual identity to cling to.  This is 'unity consciousness'.  However, within the first year of life we will begin to become aware of duality - that is 'me in relation to you'.  Whereas newborns will not distinguish between themselves and their mothers, 1 year-olds will be able to see that they are in fact separate entities. 
Fear of Death
This causes great pain to an infant, which we call separation anxiety.  It is the first time we experience death in our lifetimes; a loss of identity.  So, we begin to search for our own identity - what is our place in the world?  And here begins the apparent conflict between the two opposing currents of love (unity consciousness)  and individuality (separation).   Thus a child will flip several times a day between needing to be supported and nurtured and needing to assert their independence, which of course continues into adulthood, if only in a more subtle way.
The two 'flows of consciousness' conflict because of fear - we fear to lose ourselves in unity consciousness, to lose our uniqueness, that which defines us.  This is the underlying cause: the 'source pain', of our fear of death.  It is the reason so many are not able to meditate deeply - to hit that point where we blend effortlessly into the vastness of the universe. 
So how do we consolidate these two apparently opposing flows so that they work together in our lives, so that fear arises less and less?  Well, I'm afraid there's no method I can give you.  The answer lies in the opposite of method - surrender.....total and utter surrender.

Surrendering into Nothingness

Surrender into nothingness
We have to let the fear arise. We have to make friends with it.  We have to let go of our clinging.  We have to be prepared to dissolve into nothingness. It takes a deep surrender to let go of our identities.  The parent, the musician, the football player, the intellectualist, the lover, the carer, the comedian, the warrior - they must all go.  They have to all be thrown into the black hole of nothingness - to my knowledge there is no other way to overcome fear!  We have to literally become the black hole.  Emptiness. 

Here's the thing - this emptiness, this nothingness.  There is actually a wholeness to it.  A purity of life.  Some call it unconditional love.  It is not really nothingness but no-thing-ness.  There is no object (there is not even a subject) to cling to and produce duality. ..
...and out of this nothingness, this pure potential, comes our real uniqueness.  It is not something that can be easily described, easily labelled, and therefore there is no identity with it.  It is just you, pure and simple.  It is felt as a kind of 'rightness' in every moment.  It is not the rightness of right and wrong, this is a judgement, a duality which leads to identifying with a certain point of view.  It is a spontaneous 'knowing' of how to respond to any given situation.  It is beyond the mind and yet it is alignment for you and those around you, even if it makes people uncomfortable.
Overcoming fear of death

The Magic of the Moment

From here we begin to see how truly magical life really is.  Check out this amazing short video with Alan Watts.
"So therefore, in the course of nature, once we have ceased to see the magic in the world anymore, we're no longer fulfilling natures game of being aware of itself.  There's no point anymore.  And so we die"  -  Alan Watts
Life is truly magical - the way it works, all the little miracles, the coincidences, the interactions.
Rumi quote nothingness
How can we cultivate this feeling inside of us?  We have to dive right in.  Embrace the good and the bad.  Find a passion, what makes you tick and do it without guilt.  Dive right in.  But don't cling, don't identify - our passions are simply ways of expressing our uniqueness which comes form pure potential, they are not who we are.  We are the magic of the universe made incarnate.

With love,

Richard

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    My name is Richard.  I love to write, and here you can find my general musings, observations and articles.  Enjoy!

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Parting the Waves - conscious relating


Articles List
  • Letting go - how to do it
  • Being in the moment vs. daydreaming
  • Why Die Consciously?
  • Too much noise: steps toward 'Inner Peace'
  • Shores of Avalon - Transition into Death and other Densities
  • 'The Observer' Pt1: What is the observer?
  • 'The Observer' Pt2: Simple steps to cultivate the observer
  • 'The Observer' Pt3: Going beyond the mind
  • 'Be as a Lake': A fresh perspective on pain
  • Destiny: Knowing your purpose in life
  • Is Morality Judgmental? Taking Inspiration from Life without Limiting Ourselves
  • ‘I told you so!’ Simple yet powerful ways of improving communication with loved ones
  • What makes you feel truly alive?
  • The importance of balancing the big picture with the little picture in current global events
  • How to Channel your Sadness into Beauty
  • Recovering from Loss of Identity
  • Understanding Grief
  • 'Who am I?' - Finding your Essence
  • Dying to Live - Embracing Change
  • Heaven in Your Eyes - Opening up to the Twin Flame
  • Overcoming Fear by Embracing Death - Pt 1: Our fears
  • Overcoming Fear by Embracing Death - Pt 2: Identity and the 'Self'
  • Overcoming Fear by Embracing Death - Pt 3: Unity Vs. Individuality
  • To BE or not to BE: How to Live your Spirituality
  • True Healing: How It's Possible For Everyone
  • The Hugging Dilemma: Deep Connection vs. Personal Boundaries
  • Breaking Free of the Box: How to Overcome Guilt from Unreachable Standards
  • The Healing of the Divine Masculine
  • Are You Responsible for Other People's Suffering?
  • Why You No Longer Need to Fear Death
  • The Paradox of Passion
























































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    • What is 'dying consciously'?
    • Testimonials
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